The Role of Rememberance

During a Saturday morning hike on the prairie with a dear friend (my friend with amazing hair--jools, you know who I'm talking about! Of course you do...you are making me write this! Oh...this is a bizarre aside that is very distracting to the deep thoughts from me...but it does need to be about you, right???) Back to the prairie...I actually said something to this good-haired friend that made me stop and take note in my heart. The meaning of my thoughts, turned into words, turned right around and landed full circle back on my heart with an "AHA!" It never sounds as good as it did in the moment, but here goes...

I was trying to explain some random, but meaningful, tidbits of information I had learned on the last hike I took on this prairie about a month ago. That trek was with my seminary class and we were led by one of our classmates who is a docent. We would stop every so often and he would share details about the things we could see around us....the large tree that had survived many decades of prairie fires, the types of grasses, the story of the river and stream left in the dried up places along the banks...

The part I tried to explain to my good-hair friend on this most recent hike was about the limestone "bluffs" that seem to project out of the rolling hills. Given that this prairie once was under water (An ocean? I mean that is how limestone is formed, right?) these plateaus/bluffs of limestone were actually the result of the carving out of ocean "shelves" millions of years ago. If one is able to take her ground's eye view and swing a 360....you notice that these shelves actually exist at various levels, and each level has other bluffs, perhaps even miles away that match the same elevation...because they are actually the same limestone shelf! It causes me to do a "zoom out--wide angle" view of my world...well at least my prairie. How amazing that view is!!! So connected! I don't know how to put words to this, but that experience of seeing the "big picture" of the prairie and its land forms gives me shivers of awe.

So I continued to recollect to my good-hair friend on Saturday, as we meandered through the last leg of our hike, that I had been out in another location of our city a few weeks ago. Again, I was on a seminary class trip--a silent retreat--lounging on the prairie again. It wasn't this section of prairie, rather it was probably 10-15 miles NW of this location. Lounging in the NW section of our prairie, I was on my stomach looking at the small limestone rocks jutting out of the ground. I noticed that one of the rocks was cracked...about to split in two. Because of my curiosity, and because I had time to do introspective things like this on the retreat, I broke the rock in two only to discover something beautiful! There was a seashell fossil as clear as could be! The "big-picture" limestone underwater shelf comment and this "up-close and personal" experience with an individual rock created a very poignant moment for me. Quite a juxtapositioning of myself, face-to-face with my place in the big picture of things. At that moment of discovery (the fossil discovery), I marvelled thinking about how I was the first person to ever see this sight. No one had "planted" the fossil there...no one had ever seen it since it began its fossilization. It was a "first in history" moment. In that very moment of awe, I had a word whispered to me from the Spirit. He said, "Just like this fossil is etched into stone over the course of millions of years, I have etched my mark on your heart."

Let that settle in. I was grateful for fossils, the prairie, limestone, seashells, and the whispers of the Spririt.

Well, as I am explaining this to my good-hair friend (Yeah, jools, I am trying to keep your name current in this rendition!) we begin touching on the topic of evolution, greenpeace, tree hugging, etc. I shared that my belief embraces both evolution (organisms changing--usually for the better--in order to survive) and devolution. In regard to the creation as a whole, I believe it is in a state of devolution--slowly decaying and drifting father from its intended use/expression. For instance, we just happened to be walking and talking on the trails through some of the last natural prairie ecosystem in the world. Why is it gone? Shouldn't it still be here? Isn't the fact that we have to intentionally save it a sign that something has gone wrong, really wrong? So what is to be done? Should I become a tree hugger? Work for Green Peace? This tension finally settled into this line of thought...I should do only what I feel is necessary to maintain rememberance. I believe the prairie preservation we were walking on has a very specific function. It is there to remind us of what the world/creation once was. It is there to remind us that everything is decaying. It is there to remind us of our desperate need for restoration to flood over the layers of our very soul. In the rushing waters of restoration I hear the whisper..."You are marked for discovery. You are marked for rememberance. You are marked."

WHO NEEDS THE ICE CREAM MAN????

I want to be the Snow Cone Lady of my midwestern hometown. Ok, really, it's shaved ice, but who's going to get excited over the "Shaved Ice Lady"? I am excited to try my hand at an entrepreneurial venture that might allow me a creative outlet and a venue to continue interacting with kids and families. Right now the idea is to have a concession cart that is mobile. Perhaps I could visit each of the three Parks & Rec pools throughout the week. Perhaps they would even let me do the Arts in the Park events. Could I even make cameo appearances at the ball parks???? Geez, that would be fun! I love the idea of kids leaving messages and comments on the trailer (dry-erase markers) and being able to vote on the flavor of the week. I also think it would be fun to have a "Brain-Freezer Question" (question of the day) printed on the cups. Should they be a random assortment? And then from that random assortment, one of the questions could be on the trailer each day for people to respond to on the trailer. HMMmmmmm. Any other ideas out there???? Perhaps there could even be a "customer spotlight" each week. Their pic on the trailer, free snow cone, and their favorite flavor...or they get to create a new flavor...I love it! I'll keep you updated!

Language and Life

Ok..if you are not an English teacher or Linguist, you may want to skip this posting...

Actually, I DARE you to stay and read it. I wonder if you will get even a glimmer of the same "AHA" moments I have in my classroom when I teach grammar. Let me have a go at it here...

I've been teaching the 8 parts of speech to my 7th graders. I tell them at the beginning that NO ONE will ever get a better job, a promotion, or out of a speeding ticket for being able to list the 8 parts of speech! Being an expert in the structure of language is not about anything immediately practical! Rather, it is about the invisible layer of life. Abstract realities that are absolutely necessary. I get absolutely PUMPED UP when I talk about/think about/explain how the structure of language gives us a window into how we experience the world around us.

Are you still with me????

Here's what I hope will be my condensed version of a 9 week grammar unit:

Look at the world around you...we experience it all and desperately need a way to express our experiences. If you sit still and look around at the immediate world around you you will notice that everything of the world is either a thing or energy.

Those things in our world are nouns/pronouns. So I sit here in my classroom and I can name things. Naming things is an important part of our need to experience the world around us. I see a computer screen, chairs, carpet, dirt, etc.

Once you notice these things around you and name them, you notice that they are either moving or are simply being. We need some category to express the movement of things, action verbs. And we need a way to express that some things are not moving, but simply exist--state of being verbs/linking verbs.

Now let's admit that we really do prefer a world with color rather than a "forever Ansel Adams experience" of black and white existence. We have words that are responsible for the dimension of "color" in our language--the adjective and adverb.

And what about those pesky prepositional phrases??? They help us express the presence of space/three dimensions in our world. The squirrel doesn't just run now, it runs up a tree. Now we have our desperate need to understand direction taken care of!!! I mean we all like to know where we are going, right?

So now we have a world that has things, movement, color, and space/direction. There are still a couple of things missing. Fortunately, we are no longer cavemen & cavewomen dragging our clubs behind us, struggling to stand up straight just to say, "Me hungry!" Nawww....we have become much more sophisticated! In fact, we like the idea of multi-tasking. I can walk, talk, and chew gum. I'm rather evolved! Because we are able to consider and do more than one thing at a time, we need a type of word that is like glue. What is word glue? The conjunction. We love and hate the complexity of life. I mean how many people really love to become conjunction experts---dying to communicate about a series of things so that you are forced to figure out where the commas go and where the semicolons go?!

Finally, we have everything we need to express an understanding of the world around us. What's missing now? Ahhh...our favorite! The simplest part of speech to understand because it originates in our heart. We need something to help us express our inner world of emotion. Hip-hip horray for the interjection! No crazy rules, just raw emotion. You can insert an interjection anywhere, and it kind of stands alone, even in the context of a sentence. Hmmm.

Whew! If you are reading this line, I think you now understand how quirky I am! Grammar, language, words, structure...I LOVE it!

PS--I also think it is beyond cool that today is May 5, 2005 (05/05/05).

Why the name?

The Promise of Paradox

First of all, a disclaimer. I did not come up with this title on my own. As the experience goes, I attended my brother's church in Tulsa and met a woman who works in Nicaragua. In our brief encounter I was intrigued by her work with indigenous people and her heart to defend the defenseless. My curiousity led me to her website http://www.esperanzaenaccion.org/ where I read through her suggested resourse list. One of the quotes she shared in her list caught my eye.

" In a true community we will not choose our companions, for our choices are so often limited by self-serving motives. Instead, our companions will be given to us by grace. Often they will be persons who will upset our settled view of self (and of God) and of the world." ~Parker Palmer, The Promise of Paradox

I have not read Parker Palmer's book, so do not take this as an endorsement (although, I intend to read his book once I can get my hands on a copy). But I was struck deeply by his words. Touched in the same place God frequently places his mark on my soul. And I was absolutely smitten by the title. I made it mine.
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Promise. Paradox. They are both words of tension and freedom.

Let's start with paradox. The word origin suggests something that is contrary to expectation. I still remember the day I was walking home from a class on campus at KSU. The walk from my British Lit. class in Eisenhower Hall to my apartment on Thurston Street took me past several older homes. I walked on a sidewalk, the pavement sections shifted and uneven. I strolled under beautiful trees embracing me from above. It was a path that invited reflection. That scene was repeated many times over, throughout several seasons of change, but one particular day stands out in my memory. It wasn't really about the day. It was about the dawning of a new understanding. I remember allowing my thoughts to pour over the poem we had looked at in class (Who was it we were studying back then??? I can never remember those types of details. Grrrr). My thoughts meandered at the same pace as my stride on the sidewalk. Gracefully, my mind landed on the concept of paradox, specifically the paradox as seen in the image of God being both the Lion and the Lamb. It rattled my soul. A conclusion was born in that instance. I am filled with life and wonder when I ponder paradox. I love the crashing of images and the resulting spray of hope. Paradox. It is a place that invites you to linger for a moment longer.

Promise. There are few things that can lift higher or crush harder than promise. Promise beckons the rising up of hope which, in turn, creates the tension of risk and return. Whisper a promise to my heart and I will burn up--disentegrate in anticipation--like the phoenix burned on a pyre--awaiting the fulfillment. Fail to fulfill the promise, and the result is a process halted--a pile of ashes. What risk! Follow through with the fulfillment of a promise, and I will rise up out of the ashes a new creation, color bursting forth from ashes. What return!

This is my heart. A life that seeks the promise of paradox. A life that can willingly enter into the crucible of contrast, momentarily remain as a pile of ashes, and gracefully take flight on the wings of fulfilled hope.