Why the name?

The Promise of Paradox

First of all, a disclaimer. I did not come up with this title on my own. As the experience goes, I attended my brother's church in Tulsa and met a woman who works in Nicaragua. In our brief encounter I was intrigued by her work with indigenous people and her heart to defend the defenseless. My curiousity led me to her website http://www.esperanzaenaccion.org/ where I read through her suggested resourse list. One of the quotes she shared in her list caught my eye.

" In a true community we will not choose our companions, for our choices are so often limited by self-serving motives. Instead, our companions will be given to us by grace. Often they will be persons who will upset our settled view of self (and of God) and of the world." ~Parker Palmer, The Promise of Paradox

I have not read Parker Palmer's book, so do not take this as an endorsement (although, I intend to read his book once I can get my hands on a copy). But I was struck deeply by his words. Touched in the same place God frequently places his mark on my soul. And I was absolutely smitten by the title. I made it mine.
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Promise. Paradox. They are both words of tension and freedom.

Let's start with paradox. The word origin suggests something that is contrary to expectation. I still remember the day I was walking home from a class on campus at KSU. The walk from my British Lit. class in Eisenhower Hall to my apartment on Thurston Street took me past several older homes. I walked on a sidewalk, the pavement sections shifted and uneven. I strolled under beautiful trees embracing me from above. It was a path that invited reflection. That scene was repeated many times over, throughout several seasons of change, but one particular day stands out in my memory. It wasn't really about the day. It was about the dawning of a new understanding. I remember allowing my thoughts to pour over the poem we had looked at in class (Who was it we were studying back then??? I can never remember those types of details. Grrrr). My thoughts meandered at the same pace as my stride on the sidewalk. Gracefully, my mind landed on the concept of paradox, specifically the paradox as seen in the image of God being both the Lion and the Lamb. It rattled my soul. A conclusion was born in that instance. I am filled with life and wonder when I ponder paradox. I love the crashing of images and the resulting spray of hope. Paradox. It is a place that invites you to linger for a moment longer.

Promise. There are few things that can lift higher or crush harder than promise. Promise beckons the rising up of hope which, in turn, creates the tension of risk and return. Whisper a promise to my heart and I will burn up--disentegrate in anticipation--like the phoenix burned on a pyre--awaiting the fulfillment. Fail to fulfill the promise, and the result is a process halted--a pile of ashes. What risk! Follow through with the fulfillment of a promise, and I will rise up out of the ashes a new creation, color bursting forth from ashes. What return!

This is my heart. A life that seeks the promise of paradox. A life that can willingly enter into the crucible of contrast, momentarily remain as a pile of ashes, and gracefully take flight on the wings of fulfilled hope.